Decisions, decisions...

So, I've been going back and forth for over a year now about how to get done with school. Right now I'm only going part time because (1) my employer is paying tuition, (2) I want to work long enough to be fully vested, and (3) I have a car payment that a part-time job won't cover. Everyone keeps telling me I should just bite the bullet and go back to school full-time, but I'm too scared. I guess I want some kind of assurance that everything will be just fine, but I'm a logical thinker. I see people (my roommate, for example) that can't seem to make ends meet on a part-time paycheck, even including her student loans. She doesn't even have any bills except rent, utilities, and her cell phone. I guess my car payment is the main thing holding me back. I don't want to sell it and still owe more than it's supposedly worth. I can't decide what I'm supposed to do. I'm just so anxious to have a job I feel good about. I want to help people. Being a secretary sort of helps people, but not in a way that fulfills me. Plus, I kind of hate it. I just wish I could find a way to make everything work the way I want it to. Maybe I'm supposed to just jump in and trust that things will work out. I guess I'm just not that spontaneus. :)

These are the things I worry about. Unfortunately the worrying usually occurs when I'm supposed to be focusing on something else, like studying for tomorrow's Algebra test, which I am going to fail because I am totally unmotivated and don't understand anything.

Anyway, to feed my need to be out making the world a better place, I've decided to get more involved in the community. Southwest Research Institute (where I work) has a great volunteer organization, and I take every chance I get to participate in their service activities. On Saturday I volunteered at Habitat for Humanity. This is the third time I've gone, and it's so much fun. This time we laid sod and did some landscaping. It was back-breaking (I'm still sore!) but so worth it. Several of my friends from church came and helped out too, so that made it even more fun. Next week I'll be starting a bi-monthly Meals on Wheels route, which I'm ecstatic about. I can't wait to meet the sweet, elderly people I'll be helping! :) So anyway...until I make a decision about work and school, this is the closest thing I can get to fulfilling that Social Worker soul that is clammering to get out (is clammering a word?).

Here we are right before lunch. We were a little delirious! Can you believe how GORGEOUS the weather is (jealous anyone)? I forgot to wear sunblock and got sunburned. It's already peeling. Yuck!